They should really pass out barf bags in church
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
