i wish my penis had a tongue
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
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