I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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