I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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