There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's Friday. Sex?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
