just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
