Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
