I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
