Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
