mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
