so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
