Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
