Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize