i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
