Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
