u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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