My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
