all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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