i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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