i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
