why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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