This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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