Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize