btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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