Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
