This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
