you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
