thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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