when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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