Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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