If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
