OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
