We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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