I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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