She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
