I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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