Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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