thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
