doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
this hospital has no fireball
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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