____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Boobs are out for the taking
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
