ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
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The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
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you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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