I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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