Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
