Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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