the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
