You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
