is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
