You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she smelled like a LAN party
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize