He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
