To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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