He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
