she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
