some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
