I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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