Can Purell be used as lube?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
