I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
