Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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