ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
