i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I didn't notice because vodka
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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