Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
