I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
