Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
