Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
