No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Randomize
